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| www.compliancesigns.com |
I was glad that finally thousand of moms and supporters went to the street in the U.K. and protested against those who are against nursing in public places. The mission of the protest was "about making mums feel comfortable and not ashamed of doing it", said Emily Slough, who was called a 'tramp' when her recent breastfeeding photo, which was taken and posted anonymously, spread online.
I have always been annoyed by the opinion that breastfeeding should be a private act. Back in 2011 I was furious when I read an article from a local Buffalo (New York) newspaper written from a misogynistic and narrow-minded viewpoint by a male columnist. He was bothered by a mom who was breastfeeding in a cashiers line in a superstore when her baby cried and suggested that this woman should go to a nearby toilet and breastfeed there.
I have three points to make about this article. First, if someone like the the man above was bothered, why did he look? Second, do you want to eat your lunch in the toilet, mister? Third, as a (supposed) intellectual, who has a permanent column in the biggest paper in town, at least he should be able to see the problem from the bigger picture; that is, instead of blaming the mom, blame the policy that does not encourage public buildings to provide nursing rooms. That was my comment to him in a public forum. In private, I mumbled to myself and thought that this man either had no idea of his mom's struggle while nursing him or he probably never had this privilege and was fed by formula. We'll never know.
If you are a mother who breastfeeds your children according to the baby's biological clock, not yours, you understand that the baby cannot wait. If we, as adults, resist eating our meals in rest rooms, so should a baby. It is about basic hygiene.
Yes, I can be very harsh to those who feel "disgust" about breastfeeding in public.
I breastfed my three daughters until they were 2 years old starting in year 2000. The first message I heard from our first visit to a pediatrician in one of the prestigious private hospitals in Jakarta was, "do what the kampong (village) moms do, nurse the baby whenever they need to".
In order to make that kind of commitment, my husband and I were agreed to exclusively breastfeed our newborn until they were 3 months old and continue, if possible, until they were two years old, even though I had to quit the job I loved. I brought my children wherever I went: to meetings, to the classroom when I was working on a Masters degree, to social events, etc., and, of course, I still breastfed my children whenever they were hungry. Having to breastfeed in public (restaurants, cafes, an international airport and even at a Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant) was part of it.
Thank God, no one cared and asked me to go to the toilet!
And thankfully, in 2003, our favorite mall in Jakarta provided a nursing room like the one in this picture. Moreover, nursing rooms are now available in most of malls, shopping centers, hypermarkets, and in some bus stations in Indonesia.
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| sink is out of picture on the left side |
So, you know why I supported breastfeeding in public. I have been there and done that from 2000 to 2006. The reasons for breastfeeding using the kampong style (breastfeed whenever and wherever the baby needs) is to provide the best nutrition the baby can get, to build the mom-baby bond, to help heal the post-partum wound quickly, to help lessen the pain from breast-swelling and most importantly, breastfeeding is a celebration of life (men....you have no idea what a mom and baby go through for 9 months).
But then, how and why has breastfeeding become a shameful act in public?
Shifting Discourse on Breastfeeding
In an article on shifting discourses of motherhood, it is said that in the mid-1800s, breastfeeding the baby became a central measure of your worth as a mother in the Caucasian tradition. Cultural constructions of femininity became highly centered on motherhood and the special bond between a mother and her children in the Victorian era.
Yet, within
decades, American women suddenly seemed to lose the ability to adequately feed
their babies, ironically just as infant formula hit the market. Doctors continued to push
breastfeeding but cultural perceptions changed, and with them the social
construction of femininity. Rather than being a symbol of maternalism,
breastfeeding seemed incompatible with femininity or, specifically, with
white upper-class femininity. Breastfeeding didn’t mesh well with the idea of a delicate, refined white woman; it was too animal-like, too uncivilized. As
Lepore relates, by the early 1900s, a study in Boston found that 9 out of 10
poor mothers breastfed, but only 17% of wealthy mothers did.
By
the 1950s, only 20% of
mothers nursed their children. Then, ideas about motherhood changed
once again. Suddenly, comparatively privileged, white women were drawn to
movements that advocated breastfeeding. And so continued the ongoing cultural debate over breastfeeding, motherhood,
and proper femininity. During this time, when formula came under scrutiny, mothers reclaimed their rights to breastfeed regardless of the space and place.
Even though nursing in public is legal in forty five states in the U.S., it seems that society still has a hard time accepting this as a normal act. The Huffington Post has reported over a dozen incidents of moms who were shamed for breastfeeding in public places such as Target, Applebees, Hollister, in the vitual place Facebook, etc. Even a Pastor compared a mother to a stripper when she nursed in a church in Atlanta. In New York, a couple was removed by police from a country club when the wife breastfed their child. This one is went too far. As if asking a nursing mom to leave or to nurse the baby in the restroom was not enough, this case involved law enforcers and guns!
In the midst of the struggle for rights, a breath of fresh air comes from Pope Francis who now allows breastfeeding in his Sistine chapel. Pope Francis is an advocate of breastfeeding (in public places) by saying "If they are hungry, mothers, feed them, without thinking twice...because they are the most important people here."
And for those who feel gross or disgusted or feel that breastfeeding in public entails indecent exposure, I cite the lyrics of Anggun C. Sasmi in her song In Your Mind, "There's nothing wrong with this.....It's all in your mind".
